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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599414">You'll be the death of me but there's nowhere that I'd rather be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odd_birds_and_booksellers/pseuds/Odd_birds_and_booksellers'>Odd_birds_and_booksellers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev - Freeform, F/M, Jo Wilson Karev - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:34:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odd_birds_and_booksellers/pseuds/Odd_birds_and_booksellers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The amount of time you’re with your soulmate is written on your wrist and begins to countdown the moment you meet. - They only ever had eight years. Soulmate AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Karev/Jo Wilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You'll be the death of me but there's nowhere that I'd rather be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know what this is or why I wrote it.</p><p>But Happy Day of Birth Coco.</p><p>Title inspired by Beautiful &amp; Brutal by Plested and 15 points to Gryffindor if you cant tell me what greys episode it plays in without googling.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>Eight Years</em> </b>
</p><p>All his life he’d always been told the worst thing to ever happen was to have no time at all, to live your life knowing you’ll never meet your soulmate. But how could that possibly be true? To Alex having 0 marked on your skin seemed like peace, you could still fall in love and you got the luxury of never knowing if it would end. </p><p>Eight years...that’s what he got. </p><p>Alex didn’t want eight years, he’d rather have zero then his soulmate for eight years...that wasn’t enough time. He envied the people marked with 60,70 years.  A lifetime with someone they loved.</p><p>
  <em> “Eight years is better than none...it’s better than an hour, a day, a year.” </em>
</p><p>He can't count the number of times he’d heard that eight years wasn’t the worst amount of time, that he was lucky to even have a soulmate.</p><p>But it wasn’t enough. The idea of meeting and losing his soulmate drove Alex mad, he did everything in his power to ignore the mark on his wrist hoping it would never start to countdown. He tried to cover his pain with women, one after the other any attempt to just get it over with, just find her and lose her already. </p><p>He’d considered just making it work with Izzie, ignoring the soulmate bond completely and just living his life without her. Izzie’s mark had already long faded after Denny’s death. She had peace, sure it was heartbreaking at the start but she got past it. Nothing could be as bad as losing her soulmate, she’d survived, nothing else mattered. It’s peace.</p><p>But of course it doesn't work out. He hates the way people tell him to not worry as he finds himself alone again, his countdown hasn’t started which means it’s all still to come. They ignore the pain he feels, they don’t understand his hatred for the whole thing. At least that’s what Alex believes, he’s never stopped to think that they do in fact understand, that it’s him that doesn’t get it as he falls back into his old habits of sleeping with every willing woman in a 50-mile radius. </p><p>When the clock finally starts the countdown it’s on a Tuesday morning. </p><p>Nothing special, just another day. </p><p>He doesn’t notice it at first, it's only when he puts his watch back on after showering the next day that realises the time has begun to count down, he’d met her, he'd met her and he hadn’t even noticed. </p><p>Time was being wasted and despite him always swearing blind he didn’t want to meet his soulmate, he couldn't shake the dread that set in him as the clock counted down and he didn't even know her name. He felt lied to, how could he have just met her and never known? Where were the fireworks and the undying love he’d seen? </p><p>Racking through his brain trying to work out who he’d met yesterday he hadn’t met before. Was it the new nurse on the peds floor? No, she’d been in the lift last week. </p><p>It’s only when he sees a flash of brunette hair swing around the corner that he realises he’d not seen Wilson before yesterday. </p><p>“Show me your wrist.” He growled storming into the locker room she'd just entered, pushing through the little group of interns, pulling her up rather aggressively by her arms desperate to get a look at her wrists.</p><p>She yelps, pulling her wrist away from quickly as she leaps back, anger burning in her eyes. “What?...no get the hell off me.” </p><p>Alex sighs, he probably shouldn’t have been so rude but the time escaping on his wrist had him panicking, his heart thumping hard in his chest with every second that slipped off his skin, he just needed to know. “Just show it to me, Wilson." </p><p>He watched as she sighed, shaking off the questioning looks from the other interns as she hesitantly reached forward turning her hand over to show the countdown scrawled out across her wrist. </p><p>
  <em> <strong>“7 years... 11 Months..29 Days...12 hours...38minutes...6 seconds”</strong> </em>
</p><p>The same as Alex’s.</p><p>He slowly brings up his arm to rest against hers watching as their countdown falls in to sync with one another. They seem to stare down at the marks for hours as the room goes silent around them. It’s only when a locker slams shit does Alex shake himself out of his daze his eyes meeting Jo’s, was the golden shimmer their yesterday? Where her lips naturally that pink? All he knows is heart his thumping so bards it ringing in his ears the longer her stares at her. “I...I don’t want a soulmate.” He whispers watching as her eyes widen in surprise before the rejection hits, it feels like a lunch to gut as the sadness begins to shine in her eyes and instantly let’s got of her worst as if it had burnt him pushing past the interns crowded around them leaving Jo standing there alone.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>4 Years 3 Months 1 Week 2 Day 9 Hours 4 Minutes 33 Seconds</b>
</p><p>“Let’s make a baby.”</p><p>He’s just got out of the shower one night when he brings it up. Taking Jo completely by surprise as she stares up at him, abandoning the book in her lap. She waits for him to laugh, and tell her he’s just joking but as her gaze meets his, her face falls realising this is no joke. </p><p>“Are you mad? We have four years left Alex, We agreed that wasn’t what we wanted for our kids.” Jo shakes her head, she wants to be annoyed he’d even ask, he knows how she feels, they agreed they’d never want their kids to have to face the fallout of their timer ending, they’d never cause them any pain if they didn’t have to. </p><p>Alex shakes his head coming to sit around to her side of the bed as sits beside her. He looks so happy as he grabs hold of her hand, his eyes shining with so much hope it almost breaks her. “I don’t care”</p><p>“Yes you do...don’t look at me like that Alex it will be too hard.” She gives him a sympathetic smile as she reaches out stroking a hand across his cheek, he’d make an amazing father truly and there’s never been a man she’d imagined having kids with before him but she knows the ending of their story and she just can't do it. “We agreed we’d spend our eight years together and kids will come later...I know it seems like a good idea now Alex but you have no idea what’s gonna happen.” </p><p>She watches as he deflates leaning away from her touch as his eyes grow cold. “I don’t want someone else to be the mother of my children. I want you.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Two Weeks 12 Hours 45 Minutes 17 Seconds</em> </b>
</p><p>“Stop looking at it Jo” He growls as he catches sight of her leaning against his desk, her eyes narrowed on the countdown marked on her wrist, it seemed to be moving faster these days. He’d found her staring down at it most days and every time he did it felt like a sucker punch to the stomach, they were running out of time a fact he didn’t want to be reminded of. </p><p>Jo sighs lifting her watery gaze to meet his, dropping her hand. “How can I...in two weeks something's gonna happen.”</p><p>She was gonna die. Or Alex was. Either way, she wasn’t gonna survive it. </p><p>“Hey, we’re gonna fight it remember?” Alex stops just in front of her, tilting her chin up so their eyes meet. “We agreed that we were gonna fight it right?” </p><p>He tries to remain calm in front of her, remain confident their love could fight this, it happened, it was rare but it happened. People ran out of time and they still found a way. Take Callie and Arizona they found a way, sure they were one fo the exceptions but why the hell couldn't Jo and him be. Had they not been through enough? Did they not deserve this one thing?</p><p>“It never works Alex...Meredith and Derek tried to fight it and what did they get? A week? A week before he died and now there are three kids with no father.” He takes a step back, grabbing his coat from the hanger behind him, they’d had this argument, he still remembers the way her hand had gripped his at Derek's funeral, a knowing squeeze that she’d never risk fighting the countdown. “Alex we can’t fight it...I won’t risk it.”</p><p>“I’m not giving up...it’s worked before okay?”</p><p>Jo sighs nodding slowly as Alex gathers the rest of his things, she twists her wedding band around her finger nervously. She doesn't wanna spend their last two weeks arguing, so she’ll let it go. “You’re sweet...I love you.” She whispers wondering how many more times she’ll get to say those words. </p><p>“I love you,” Alex responds in heartbeat, turning around to pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, he looks Jo over a smirk appearing on his face as he takes in her blood-soaked appearance. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What times does the courthouse close?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>1 Year 3 Months 12 Days 8 Minutes 3 Seconds </em> </b>
</p><p>“Hey” He finds her leaning against the nurses' station, her eyes glossed over as she stared out into space, her hands fiddling with the diamond ring on her finger. It had taken so long to get there and now it was like neither of them could quite believe it, always checking that it was there, no matter what happened, those rings always representing the love they share.</p><p>“Hey” she whispers quietly, the corners of her lips turning up as she catches sight of him. Her smile is a welcome sight as he drops off the tablet he'd been holding. He’d had a long surgery and her words had plagued him throughout. </p><p>“You okay? You were little weird today with the whole thanks for marrying me thing.”</p><p>Jo nods, letting go of her ring finger as she turns towards him, taking one of his hands in her own. “It just scared me you know? I’ve never seen someone’s timer run out before, I dunno I just I thought something would happen, like the second it hits zero you change. I dunno…” </p><p>“Like an alarm rings out and your feelings disappear...poof gone?”</p><p>“Yeah...no...I don’t know.” Jo shrugs letting out a dry laugh, as Alex pulls her in closer, his concerned gaze scanning her own, desperately begging for some clarity. “Don’t you think about what’s gonna happen?”</p><p>“No...never.” Alex's eyebrows crease as he leans his forehead against Jo’s, pulling her closer, rubbing her back softly when he sees her eyes begin to water again and he immediately knows where she’s going with this. “I try to ignore the whole crappy thing altogether, I never take my watch off because it makes me feel sick every time I see it.”</p><p>“I look at the time every day I just watch the seconds go by it’s like my own form of torture,” Jo mutters bringing her wrist up to show him, they both take a second to watch the seconds tick by. “I don’t want us to end, I don’t wanna lose you.” She mutters raising her head to meet his eyes as a single tear escapes. </p><p>“You won’t.” </p><p>“Alex…”</p><p>He pulls her back in, cupping her face in his hand as his kisses the loan tear away. “You won’t lose me, Jo. I promise whatever happens you won’t lose me...not willingly.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>2 Years 4 Months 1 Day 3 Hours 12 Minutes 26 Seconds</em> </b>
</p><p>“Alex Karev….will you marry me?” The smile lights up her whole face as he lunged forward capturing her lips with his own, muffling the sound of her laughter.</p><p>“Is that a…” she manages to mutter as he pulls away his own smile matching hers. </p><p>“That’s a yes...that's a hell yes.” Alex laughs pulling her back in as both their laughter fills the room. </p><p>The candles that light the loft begin to dwindle in the early hours of the morning, the diamond ring on her finger still manages to shine against the flickering light as Jo lays against Alex’s chest listening to his heartbeat. Trying to remember every thump as his hand strokes lazily up her bare back. </p><p>“Do you think we’re making a mistake?” She whispers just as he’s dozing off, she feels his hand stop its movement against her back as he raises his head little to look at her. “...getting married I mean, it can only end badly.”</p><p>Jo bites her lip as she watches the panic flash through Alex’s eyes the way he clutches her tighter as if she’s already slipping away from him. He’d wanted to marry her pretty early on, but Jo had always refused knowing it could only ever end in divorce or death; she thought she saved them both some pain. Only now when they had more days behind them then they did ahead did she regret every moment she didn’t take with him. </p><p>“You don’t know that.” </p><p>“Well, do you see a world where you’re gonna leave me?”</p><p>Alex groans leaning back against the pillows to stare up at the calling. “You know I don’t.” </p><p>“So what then one of us dies, hmm how else can this go?” </p><p>“Stop...come on we have time.” Alex shakes his head, pulling the comforter up around them as he presses a kiss to her head, shushing her as he pulls her back down to rest against him. They had time, he was right they definitely had time, and it wasn’t like she wanted to spend forever dwelling on the end, she wanted to appreciate every second with Alex and greedily she wanted more. </p><p>“Not enough...it’s never gonna be enough.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>7 Years 6 Months 3 Weeks 2 Days 17 Hours 3 Minutes 18 Seconds </em> </b>
</p><p>“I think you’re wrong.” Meredith appears beside him in the hallway, barely catching up to him as she tries to waddle at his speed. He shoots her confused look as they turn the corner, he’s usually pretty good at knowing what he’d done to piss her off but this...he had no clue. “I think you’re wrong about soulmates and you're wasting time with Wilson, trust me I wasted time with Derek and it’s time you’ll never get back.”</p><p>Alex rolls his eyes, huffing as they come to stop at the elevator. He narrows eyes at Meredith as she stops beside him, elbowing him to respond as the doors slip open. </p><p>“Oh, and what you and Derek having two years left makes you happy?”</p><p>Alex didn’t need this lecture. He’d made his choice no soulmates, not for him, he didn’t see the point, just let the timer run out and let him and Wilson go on with their lives, no point hurting each other. </p><p>“No, what makes me happy is the years we already had together, the memories we made, the life we shared, no one will ever take that from us whatever happens when that timer runs out.” Meredith hisses smacking his arm.  “You’re wrong about you Wilson and soon enough you will realise that and when you do you'll never be able to get back the time you wasted." </p><p>And with that, she disappears back into the bustling hospital leaving Alex to sulk alone in the lift. When the doors ding open again he almost wants to laugh because of course, she’s standing there, she’s everywhere he looks and he can’t get rid of her and honestly if it wasn’t for the way she deflates every time she sees him he’d welcome her presence, rooms seemed brighter with her in them. Her smile seemed to penetrate his darkest of moods and her laugh he’d only heard briefly in passing had been haunting his dreams for weeks. Whether he acknowledges it or not the soulmate bond was surely there. </p><p>“Hey…”</p><p>“Hi…”</p><p>They fall into an awkward silence as steps on the lift and you can almost hear their timers counting down.</p><p>“Why do you wanna do it?” Alex blurts out abruptly leaning across her as he presses the emergency stop, the elevator shaking to a halt as he whirls around to meet her eye. “Why do you wanna be together when you know it ends?” </p><p>“I dunno Alex because that’s what people do. They spend the time they get together because...because” Jo sighs dropping her head as she watches Alex’s fingers hover over to emergency stop like if he’s not satisfied with her answer it’ll spring back into action and he’ll walk away from her again as of this never happened. “Because we’re soulmates, written in the stars, destined for each other and all that other bullshit...so what if we end one day? Does that make what we could have any less? Everything fucking ends doesn't mean we shouldn’t…” </p><p>Suddenly she’s cut off as he presses her against the cool metal of the elevator, his lips finding hers. It’s as if they’ve kissed a thousand times before as she threads her fingers through his hair. </p><p>“What are you…” Jo manages to mumble against her lips but she’s swiftly cut off again, the feel of Alex lips against hers like nothing she'd ever known.</p><p>When they do finally manage to break apart, she keeps a tight grip on him savouring the way every nerve ending in her body comes alive under his touch. “What happened to not wanting a soulmate?” She pants smirking as Alex presses himself against her. </p><p>“You did...you’re impossible not to want.”</p><p> </p><p><b> <em>00:00:00:00</em> </b> </p><p>“The timer ran out…” Her voice cracks as the pain wash over her, staring down at the space on her wrist, the string of numbers now a dark zero. </p><p>Link peers up from over the take-out he'd laid out across the table shrugging out of his jacket as he stares at her. “What?” </p><p>“The timer ran out.” It comes in waves...the pain, sucking the air from her lungs as she clutches at her chest, trying to stop the pain in her heart as the dread she’s been feeling for the last couple of days hits her full force. He should’ve been here, the timer ran out and he was already gone, their last days spent waiting by the phone. “He left me.”</p><p>“No, he didn’t.”</p><p>“I think he did I think he knew our timer was ending and he left…” Jo bites her lips as the tears begin to slip down her face, she wasn’t sure how it could hurt this bad when she knew it was coming. </p><p>“Jo…”</p><p>“No, I always knew it was ending I just I just thought he’d say goodbye.” She struggles to catch her breath as she feels Links arms surround her but all she notices is how they're not Alex's and they'll never be Alex's again. "He said he wanted to fight.”</p><p> </p><p>His letter appears almost a week later. She recognised his messy handwriting and for a moment she considered not reading the letter at all. She knows that it’s over, the zero on her wrist reminds her daily, he’s alive...and that might be the only saving grace, that their time didn’t end in death. </p><p>Her curiosity gets the better of her as she slips into his side of the bed, his scent still surrounding her, the last bit of comfort as she begins to read the final page of their story.</p><p>
  <em> Dear Jo,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The last thing on earth I wanna do is hurt you, but I’m leaving. I'm sorry. You deserve more than a letter. And this right here, this cowardice, this letter? It's officially the worst thing I've ever done. I promised you I’d fight, I swore blind that the second that timer ran out I’d still be standing beside you, and I’m not. I’m gone.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I love you, Jo. I love that you are brilliant and brave, and no matter what you go through, you never let it hold you back. It makes you stronger, kinder. You made me kinder. You loved me for exactly who I was, and I loved you. I love you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I used to think I never wanted a soulmate because it would be so painful to walk away and I was right it is and I know I should be telling this to your face and not writing it down in a letter but I don’t think I'd survive it. I know now how lucky I am to have known you, to have been loved by you and I just can’t bear to see the look on your face when the timer runs out.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I need you to hear or read or whatever that I do love you, and I wanted to stay because there was never any scenario I could imagine that would have me walking away from you, I was ready to die before l let you go, but when Mer needed all those letters, I reached out to Izzie. I’m with Izzie Jo...in Kansas. She's here on a farm in this place in the middle of nowhere. And I never, in a million years, would think I belong here, but I do and I know that sounds crazy but the crazier thing is that Izzie had my kids. My kids Jo. And I know you get what that really means. I know you, of all people, understand why I can't just leave now, why I can't miss another second of my kids' lives. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Maybe "I love you" is wrong to say, but thank you for making me better and taking care of me when I needed it, for taking care of yourself when you needed it, too. You taught me how to love, how to be loved. I have loved every second with you, I’d do it all again if I could.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Because of you I no longer envy the soulless because I’d take every day of my life again for all eight years with you. You probably hate me and you’d be right to, you deserve so much more than a coward's goodbye, I just can’t give you more. I’m sorry. You’re the love of my life Josephine Karev never forget that.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Oh, you deserve everything good in this life, Jo. I hope you find so much better than me. Thank you. I'm sorry. I don't know how to end this. I don't want to.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Goodbye.' </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Alex  </em>
</p>
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